Distracted

So for fully two weeks now I have been distracted. Mostly with this beautiful woman I have been chasing in my mind, but also with how to leave where I am living now (in the existential not the locative sense). Everything I write has been crap (not just the self-indulgent variety that you find in this landfill, but the stuff I care about too) I have failed to get anything done, and yesterday I missed a date to see my mother. She seems pretty steamed about it. She told me on my message that I had to start being an adult. I think that's a pretty common consensus. There are moments when I am aware that everything in my life has 0scillated between over achievement and complete lack of activity. Despite the mounting bills and the growing sense that somehow I have betrayed my potential or even the disappointment of my family and friends I still think that living single, underemployed and slothing around; smoking grass, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, drinking to excess, laughing until sunrise has been a pretty good place to live, and were it not for the burden that it seems to be placing on others, I would consider staying here longer.